By John Boccacino ’03
Gracyn Doctor G’20 thought she had it all figured out, until an act of violence instantly silenced the biggest supporter in her life, leaving her feeling hopeless and lost.
“I knew it was going to be hard, but I never imagined how hard it would get or how dark this process would be,” says Doctor.
Doctor remembers the fear and panic she felt when her mother didn’t return home by 10 p.m. on June 17, 2015. After searching online news articles, Doctor learned the horrifying truth about what had happened to her 49-year-old mother.
DePayne Middleton-Doctor, a reverend at the famed Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church in Charleston, S.C., was participating in an evening Bible study class with 11 other parishioners. That night, Dylann Roof, a stranger, entered the church and was welcomed into the Bible study before going on a shooting rampage, killing nine churchgoers, including Middleton-Doctor.
“For the longest time I was stuck in neutral, just going through the motions without any passion or purpose,” says Doctor, who was preparing for her junior year as a sports management student and member of the volleyball team at Johnson C. Smith University, a historically black school in Charlotte, N.C.
A Tremendous Loss
Doctor suffered both depression and anxiety following her mother’s death. She was used to opening up and seeking advice during daily phone conversations with her mother, including one on the afternoon of the church shooting.
“When I hit my low point, I thought about what my mom would want for me, I thought back to the goals we had discussed, and I focused on those goals again. It gave me purpose and pushed me,” Doctor says.
Doctor recalled her mother mentioning graduate school as an entry point into the communications field. As she was scrolling through Instagram a short time later, Doctor saw an advertisement for Newhouse’s master’s program.
“Since her death, I’ve been trying to follow my intuition, which led me to Syracuse University in the first place,” says Doctor, who, in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic, earned her master’s degree in arts journalism from the S.I. Newhouse School of Public Communications. “I feel like my mom would be very happy, excited, pleased and proud that I earned my degree. I thought about her all year and I feel like she was there guiding me.”
A Helping Hand
Doctor also received guidance and support through a chance friendship with Maria Taylor, a studio host and sideline
reporter for ESPN. Doctor landed an interview for a spot in a mentorship program sponsored by a non-profit Taylor co-founded, but Doctor canceled due to her mother’s death. When Taylor learned that Doctor’s mother was among the shooting victims, she traveled to Charleston for the funeral.
Doctor later interned at ESPN’s SEC Network campus in Charlotte during her senior year, shadowing Taylor while learning about broadcast journalism. As Doctor dealt with depression, she opened up to Taylor about her feelings of pain and loss.
After Doctor applied to Syracuse, Taylor invited her to visit campus when Taylor was serving as a sideline reporter for an ESPN broadcast of a basketball game against Duke in the Dome. Taylor accompanied Doctor as she toured campus, and once Doctor was accepted, Taylor took care of a portion of Doctor’s tuition.
“Maria’s friendship has been such a blessing. She’s supported me in so many ways since I met her and she’s like a big sister to me,” Doctor says of Taylor.
Next Steps
During her year-long master’s program, Doctor thrived, enjoying the chance to “build her own curriculum” while immersing herself in writing and storytelling.
Doctor also relished the travel opportunities. At the Toronto International Film Festival, her class covered a screening of “Just Mercy,” starring Jamie Foxx and Michael B. Jordan, penning reviews of several feature films. In New York City, they attended a performance of “Hamilton,” toured BuzzFeed and met alumni in their prospective fields.
While she was a student, Doctor gained valuable experience in radio interning at WAER. Now the host and executive producer on “Talkin’ Black,” a podcast dedicated to pop culture and themes relevant to Black lives, Doctor hopes to land a show on National Public Radio (NPR).
“My growth over the last year has been crazy, I’ve come so far as a storyteller and I’ve really used my time at Syracuse to develop my passions,” says Doctor. “It was literally the best decision ever.”
Doctor emerged from the darkest period of her life with a master’s degree, a new career path and the comforting knowledge that her mother, though physically gone, will forever be a source of inspiration, guidance and support.